Dr. Strangelove

... Or: How I Learned To Stop Whining And Love "The Watchmen"

Strange, "The Watchmen" film was kind of a straightforward translation of the book minus the grand themes and undercurrent of apocalyptic fear -- but I still kinda loved it.

In many ways, after I stepped out of the IMAX Experience theater in Emeryville, I found myself feeling the same I did after seeing other film adaptations and remakes. When I saw "Fight Club" I was so invigorated I ran to read the original Chuck Palahniuk novel. My reaction was "Wow, that was pretty faithful and direct adaptation."

When I heard they were remaking "The Ring," my interest was definitely piqued: I found the first 95% of the Japanese film slow and kinda boring -- but that climax was absolutely shit-in-your-pants terrifying. The American version held my interest, and even though I knew what to expect at then end, I still found it thrilling.

"The Princess Bride": Love the film. Then my friend told me to go back and read William Goldman's original novel. Whoa, all the good stuff's in the film, but the really great stuff is in the book.

That's what I thought about "Watchmen" -- the essential stuff is well-defined onscreen. The real meaty substance of the graphic novel -- can really only be found in the graphic novel.

That said, here's my quick notes on "Watchmen":

The Good:

The opening credits and opening scene sucked you right in. The graphic novel's vast supplementary material -- the "Under The Hood" excerpts, magazine articles, etc -- are replaced by a montage that gives a quick overview of the costumed heroes that inhabit this world, and it does so pretty effectively by pairing iconic imagery, such as Andy Warhol-like paintings, a monk's self-immolation, etc., with Bob Dylan's "The Times Are A-Changin'." As for the opening action sequence involving the Comedian: Sure, it was a typical over-choreographed Hollywood fight scene, but it was jarring a perfect tone-setter.

It looks just like the graphic novel. Whole comic book panels were filmed. The colors, the lighting, the set design, the costumes, the whole texture of the series is about 80-85% retained. It felt very familiar and yet alive.

Jackie Earle Haley is Rorschach. That voice, that body language, that creepy mask, the whole package is there. On that same note, most of the other actors really fit into the skin of their characters, Patrick Wilson (Nite Owl), Carla Gugino (Silk Spectre), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Comedian) and Billy Crudup (Dr. Manhattan).

The Bad:

Ozymandias was underdeveloped and one-dimensional. We never really got to know his origin or why he does what he does. The book, for those wondering, solves that.

The depth of the superhero mythology is missing. Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons really did dissect the superhero mythos with their landmark 1986 comic book series. Just dissected it, not destroyed it, obviously. Still it's hard to read the graphic novel and not say to yourself, "Gee, even if costumed heroes existed, the world would still be kinda fucked up."

The ending was kinda quick and neatly cleaned up. I love calamari as much as the next guy, and I missed not seeing the squid on the big screen, but really, it felt like they were quickly tying up loose ends by the time the credits rolled.

I could go on and on, but why bother? I'm waiting for the next great comic book movie to come out. "Ronin," anyone?

Comments

[Anthony]

This movie blew chunks.