W i r e B o y

Mixed into a 'Pulp'

Not bad for a Tarantino-inspired mashup.

Wolverine 101: A Complicated, Convoluted History

A guide to the baddest X-Men ever.

When in doubt ...

Blog It.

Free love

An oldie but goldie...

Mann, I can't wait for this movie!

Finally caught a big-screen glimpse of the trailer for "Public Enemies," the John Dillinger film from Michael Mann ... starring Batman versus Willy Wonka, no less -- woo hoo! The "Heat" director is still for my money one of the top 5 directors of the past 20 years (please don't ask me to name all 5).

What struck me immediately was that this film is -- if my amateur-trained movie-going eye not mistaken -- shot on hi-def video, a la Mann's "Collateral." Which I fear could be a bad thing. Video has a distinctly modern-day look, a less-refined quality that, no matter how many times you view it, has a contemporary documentary feel to it. 

I don't know, try imagining Brian De Palm's "Untouchables" if it were filmed with the same relatively low-tech cameras they use for TV soaps in the seventies. Or imagine watching a Medieval tale about a knight -- and suddenly a David Bowie song blares over the soundtrack. No, wait, don't...

Maybe the film's gritty, grainy-vid look is Mann's whole intention. In the end I trust his vision. And I still look forward to making friends with "Enemies."

That's entertainment

I caught Paul Weller again, this time at the Regency Grand Ballroom in San Francisco. Awesome rockin' show, dude...

Dr. Strangelove

... Or: How I Learned To Stop Whining And Love "The Watchmen"

Strange, "The Watchmen" film was kind of a straightforward translation of the book minus the grand themes and undercurrent of apocalyptic fear -- but I still kinda loved it.

In many ways, after I stepped out of the IMAX Experience theater in Emeryville, I found myself feeling the same I did after seeing other film adaptations and remakes. When I saw "Fight Club" I was so invigorated I ran to read the original Chuck Palahniuk novel. My reaction was "Wow, that was pretty faithful and direct adaptation."

When I heard they were remaking "The Ring," my interest was definitely piqued: I found the first 95% of the Japanese film slow and kinda boring -- but that climax was absolutely shit-in-your-pants terrifying. The American version held my interest, and even though I knew what to expect at then end, I still found it thrilling.

"The Princess Bride": Love the film. Then my friend told me to go back and read William Goldman's original novel. Whoa, all the good stuff's in the film, but the really great stuff is in the book.

That's what I thought about "Watchmen" -- the essential stuff is well-defined onscreen. The real meaty substance of the graphic novel -- can really only be found in the graphic novel.

That said, here's my quick notes on "Watchmen":

The Good:

The opening credits and opening scene sucked you right in. The graphic novel's vast supplementary material -- the "Under The Hood" excerpts, magazine articles, etc -- are replaced by a montage that gives a quick overview of the costumed heroes that inhabit this world, and it does so pretty effectively by pairing iconic imagery, such as Andy Warhol-like paintings, a monk's self-immolation, etc., with Bob Dylan's "The Times Are A-Changin'." As for the opening action sequence involving the Comedian: Sure, it was a typical over-choreographed Hollywood fight scene, but it was jarring a perfect tone-setter.

It looks just like the graphic novel. Whole comic book panels were filmed. The colors, the lighting, the set design, the costumes, the whole texture of the series is about 80-85% retained. It felt very familiar and yet alive.

Jackie Earle Haley is Rorschach. That voice, that body language, that creepy mask, the whole package is there. On that same note, most of the other actors really fit into the skin of their characters, Patrick Wilson (Nite Owl), Carla Gugino (Silk Spectre), Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Comedian) and Billy Crudup (Dr. Manhattan).

The Bad:

Ozymandias was underdeveloped and one-dimensional. We never really got to know his origin or why he does what he does. The book, for those wondering, solves that.

The depth of the superhero mythology is missing. Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons really did dissect the superhero mythos with their landmark 1986 comic book series. Just dissected it, not destroyed it, obviously. Still it's hard to read the graphic novel and not say to yourself, "Gee, even if costumed heroes existed, the world would still be kinda fucked up."

The ending was kinda quick and neatly cleaned up. I love calamari as much as the next guy, and I missed not seeing the squid on the big screen, but really, it felt like they were quickly tying up loose ends by the time the credits rolled.

I could go on and on, but why bother? I'm waiting for the next great comic book movie to come out. "Ronin," anyone?

So, who are these Watchmen anyway???

THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO "THE WATCHMEN"

On March 6, Warner Bros. is unleashing the long-awaited film "The Watchmen," based on the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons comic series-slash-collected graphic novel. Let's see, you've never read it. Hurmmmm. It's like only one of the most praised comic books ever and, oh, let's see -- it came out 23 years ago! Where ya been? 

Alright, maybe you were busy reading Harry Potter or Nietzsche or whatever. I hear ya. So that you don't walk into the movie theater stone-cold ignorant of what the story's all about, I've put together a handy little guide on who's who and what's what in the Watchiverse.

OK, smartypants, what IS The Watchmen?

It's a superhero team, wiseguy. The Watchmen monitor evildoing and crime from their suborbital satellite headquarters, The Watch Tower. Their superpowers come from the "Watches," mystical timepieces they have been given by the Guardian Watchers from a distant cosmos.

Wait, "Guardian Watchers," magic timepieces? Back up. WHO are the Watchmen?

There's five of them. They are...

The Comedian: His alter-ego is Ed Blake, who, before joining the team, was a just regular, fun-lovin' guy who liked to make people laugh, a real-life class clown. After being drafted and sent to Vietnam, he witnessed the horror of war, which he realizes is no joke. While on a tour of duty in Da Nang, he encounters a visiting extraterrestrial being known as a Watcher, who gives him a Watch that endows him with super-strength, super-speed and super-vision. After fighting the evildoers at war, he returns to America as The Comedian and vows to fight all evil, which he says is just "one big joke ... and I'm here to deliver the punchline."

Rorschach: Walt Kovacs is a criminal psychology student dedicated to studying the mind of the hardened, psychopathic criminals. One evening while visiting a former prison, he is possessed by the spirits of long-dead prisoners. To keep the prisoners from completely overtaking Kovacs' mind, a fellow university student gives him a mask made from "Phantom Phabric," which contains the spirits and keeps them from completely overtaking his body (The changing shapes on his mask are the evil spirits swirling in his mind). With his newfound innate understanding of evil, Kovacs dedicates his life to battling it as Rorschach. The Watchers are impressed by Kovacs' dedication to crimefighting and give him a Watch that gives him an added ability to "sense" evil.

Silk Spectre: Laurie Juspeczyk's mother was crimefighter who, hoping to pass the torch, trained her daughter to be the ultimate human being: strong, athletic, intelligent. One day, the young Laurie was abducted by aliens and taken to a faraway galaxy. The Watchers rescued her and, recognizing her noble qualities, gave her one of their Watches. She is returned to Earth as the new Silk Spectre, with a newfound ability to transform into a living ghost that can move through matter at will.

Nite Owl: Dan Dreiberg was an archaeologist on a dig in Greece when he stumbled upon an ancient tomb for the Forgotten Gods. There, he meets a wizard who bestows upon Dreiberg the power of flight. An admirer of birds (particularly owls) and a fan of old "Batman" comics, Dreiberg adopts the superhero identity of Nite Owl. He later augments his crimefighting arsenal with an array of "avian weaponry," including a computer-controlled Owl Ship. The Watchers later give him a Watch that gives him night vision, the ability to see in the dark.

Ozymandias: Adrian Veidt is a mild-mannered janitor, who, despite his poverty, is a caring, giving, selfless man. One night while cleaning a museum featuring an exhibit on ancient Egypt, Oswald accidentally knocks over a jewel belonging to the pharaoh Ramses the Great, unleashing the power within it. Unbeknownst to Veidt, the jewel is actually a 3000-year-old Watch and he is transformed into a super-intelligent man with great strength. He adopts Ramses' other name, Ozymandias, and vows to "bring the light of Good over the darkness of Evil." 

Dr. Manhattan: Jon Osterman is an ex-hippie who is now a New York "psycho-naut" who studies the depths of the human psyche and has become an erstwhile media celebrity (His constant presence on the New York TV show circuit earns him the moniker "Dr. Manhattan"). Osterman comes to believe that the path to battling evil is by having evildoers embrace love and affection -- even if it is by force. The only Watchman without superpowers (He actually refused a Watch from the Watchers!), Dr. Manhattan employs a Hallucino-Gun that delivers mind-bending drugs into his enemies. For example, some of Dr. Manhattan's combatants, when under the influence ofthe drugs, mistake him for a giant blue being or think they see three of him floating around. Silly, eh? But effective.

OK, so what's the story about?

Set in the 1980s, "The Watchmen" is one part political thriller, two parts sci-fi fantasy, three parts murder mystery, four parts metaphysical meditation -- and 20 parts kick-ass martial-arts action! On this Earth, Richard Nixon never resigned. In fact, he is now the self-declared Emperor of the United States, a vast consumer wasteland that is overrun with towering condominium towers, shopping malls and floating sky cities. The main thrust of the plot focuses on an invasion of Earth by aliens from a distant galaxy, led by their evil leader Moloch. Caught between the imperialist government of America and the fascist extraterrestrial invaders are the righteous Watchmen. The story is an homage to 1970s epic space-faring comic storylines that were common to "The Avengers," "Justice League Of America" and "Legion of Super-Heroes." 

Some readers have called it "The Matrix" meets "Birth of A Nation" as written by Philip K. Dick.

Wait, isn't there another superhero team in "The Watchmen"?

Yes, there was another (now defunct) team called The Minutemen, who fought crime in the 1940s. Founded by Johnny Minute -- a super-fast hero who can run from L.A. to Manhattan in a "New York minute" -- the team battled organized crime, aliens invaders and even Hitler, before mysteriously disappearing in the late 1950s. A "Watchmen" subplot focusing on The Minutemen is meant as a homage to '30s/40s/50s comics like "Justice Society of America" and "All-Star Comics."

Wait, I thought I saw a movie photo that shows Silk Spectre as a member of The Minutemen. WTF?

Yes, Silk Spectre's mother was a member of The Minutemen. Her powers are the opposite of her daughter's -- instead of being able to turn into a "living ghost," the first Silk Spectre can make other people incorporeal (Cool power!). Also, before The Comedian, there was another hero with the same name who was in The Minutemen. But they're not related in any way.

What's with the squid I keep hearing about?

That's not a squid, it only sorta looks like one. It's a monstrous, tentacled alien "brain giant" that can control the minds of large populations. It is sent to Earth by Moloch. In the film, there are supposedly hundreds of "squids" sent to Earth, some of which look like giant prawns or titanic crabs.

How do pirate comic books figure into the story?

In the world of "The Watchmen," superheroes are actually held in low regard, much like lawyers. Instead of superheroes, comic books gain popularity by focusing on pirate adventures. This in turn spawns pirate fashion, pirate pop songs, pirate movies, the whole panoply of pirate entertainment. Arrrggggh.

What's with the bloodstain-on-smiley-face image?

It's an iconic image from the series. It's not blood. There's a scene in the comic where a newspaper assistant spills ketchup on the smiley-face logo on the T-shirt he's wearing. It's meant to be a symbol of lost innocence. Or spilled condiments. I forget which.

Sounds kinda geeky. Why is every comic book fan ga-ga about this anyway?

Remember that first time you had sex and how that made your "adult" parts feel all nice? That's what happened to geeks when "Watchmen," er, came out back in 1986. Total mental comic-book orgasm. Everything that was cool about comics -- the superpowers, the high drama, the action, the scope and sweep of cosmic storylines, THE COSTUMES (hello) -- converged in those precious 12 issues. Much much better than reading Jane Austen.

That's it?

Well, there is a cool subplot that is considered sacred text to "Watchmen" fans. It involves the Watchmen visiting a parallel Earth with different versions of the main characters. On this Earth, the Comedian is an amoral assassin who himself was murdered; Rorschach is a grim, psychopathic urban vigilante; Silk Spectre is a crimefighter's daughter who is now bitter about being forced into the superhero business; Nite Owl is a retired, impotent second-generation crimefighter has-been; Dr. Manhattan is an indifferent, time-traveling quantum physicist who is actually the only super-powered hero in the world; and Ozymandias, a rich megalomaniac who has conceived a master plan to bring stability to the world. That alone would've made a cool movie.

There you go, you newfangled Watchie (That's what "Watchmen" fans call themselves). Everything you need to know about "Watchmen" without feeling totally lost. Need to know more? The sci-fi blog io9 has a good Q&A also, although I question some of its accuracy.

Live Shot: Stroke 9

They really kicked some ass live at the Red Devil Lounge.

Never mind Green Lantern ...

The Green HORNET movie has a new director: Michel Gondry, the visionary French director who helmed "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." This news rocks! 

As for Seth Rogen playing the Hornet, well...

Note: The photo above is of Van Williams and Bruce Lee from the 1966 TV series.